TRANSCRIPT: [INTERCEPTED MESSAGE P5K83-H1]
Received: 3M AGO
Kim Jong-un was just reading through the latest war reports, inside his bunker in Seoul (right after he’d conquered Southern Korea, all of his military activities were moved there).
Right when he started to write a long angry letter to all of his military commanders, the phone rang.
“WHO IS IT?!” he shouted. The person on the other side of the line did not react to his anger, which meant it could only be one person: his Dae Wonsu (the Korean equivalent of the General of Armies) Park Jae-sang, to the public commonly known as PSY.
“Hello sir. Our armies are currently entering the United States over the Mexican border, and we’ll soon begin our first attack,” he said.
“Good,” Kim answered. “We’ll have Barack Obama imprisoned in no time.”
Park hesitated. “However, sir, we have recently received reports about very heavily equipped soldiers in the U.S. army, known as ‘Fat Mothers’. We believe this is a codename for professionally trained marines in very large metal suits, carrying extremely heavy weaponry.”
Kim Jong-un, being his usual reckless self, ignored this threat and said: “Doesn’t matter. Our soldiers can defeat those suits with ease, using our nukes.”
“Very well, sir. Would you like to have a picture of the ‘Fat Mothers’ anyway, to see for yourself? I myself find them very intimidating.” Park said. The Noble Leader replied: “All right, send it to my Google+ account. We’ve easily managed to hack into that service, because nobody’s ever used it anyway.”
Park hung up the phone, and took another look at the photo.
“We’re screwed,” he whispered, and sent the picture to kim-thabest69@gmail.com
